Don’t send out an email that starts:

Dear XX XXXXX

…then continues with:

Thank you for recently entering our North Carolina Sweet Potato competition in conjunction with Sainsbury’s, Onlinetravel.com and American Airlines.

You what? I entered a Sweet Potato competition!? When?

We received an incredible number of entries and on this occasion we’re sorry to advise that you weren’t one of our lucky winners.

Now you’re just being mean :-(

If you would prefer not to receive this type of information please click here.

You complete numpties. There’s no link to click! GAAAAHHH!!!

…is that they’re over too soon.

It’s only 10:50 am and I’ve already consumed two cakes (a chocolate doughnut and a chocolate eclair – both provided by work) and I’ve just been given a big bag of Haribo Starmix.

I truly have the healthiest diet of all time.

I dragged myself out of bed this morning, late as usual. I heard the pitter-patter of raindrops on the window. Great. Riding to work in the rain is always good for a laugh. In my mad rush I couldn’t find my waterproof over-trousers (in fact I still can’t). No problem, I’ll just bung the crud-guard on the back of the bike. Could I find it? Could I fu… No, I couldn’t.

Man, it was absolutely hammering it down out there. I had a decidedly wet backside by the time I got to work. Oooh, I had such a comfortable day. I recommend that you try it. No, really.

I’d also recommend that you get overtaken by a Smart Fortwo on the way home. Now, that’s got to be one of the narrowest cars on the road, right? So why, when on a near-deserted dual carriageway did they have to pass me with literally a few centimentres to spare?

MOVE OVER THERE YOU SPANNER! YOU’VE GOT A WHOLE OTHER LANE TO PLAY WITH!

You might well have a narrow car, but that’s no excuse for passing me without altering your course even slightly. Ferchrissakes, it’s even a left-hand drive model! Dunderheaded numpty.

Replace the “Jet” with “Train” and you’d be getting there. But that sounds rubbish. Anyway, I digress.

I had a meeting up in Knutsford today, so I jumped on a train out of Cheltenham at silly o’clock this morning. I changed at Birmingham, then progressed to Crewe where I discovered that my connecting train had been cancelled. WOOHOO! I eventually arrived over an hour late, which was just wonderful.

We apologise for the late running of this train…

Fast forward to the return journey this evening: I get all the way back to Birmingham New Street before they thwart me again! This time the train was over half an hour late leaving. Truly fantastic service.

I’m really growing to love travelling by train.

So tomorrow I’m off to London to see a man about some AJAX. Again, I’m catching the train at silly o’clock. This one should be OK in theory – it’s direct. Going by today’s experience though, anything could happen. Wish me luck…

For once it wasn’t the other traffic endangering me on today’s morning commute. It was me.

I was absolutely flying this morning, despite the constant whinging from my legs. “What are you doing? That really hurts, I can’t be expected to maintain that sort of pace!” The roads were a bit damp but it’s nothing I can’t deal with. Or so I thought.

I’m approaching a right turn, pedalling like I’m an a sprint on Le Tour (really must fit a bigger gear). I look back, signal, carry on for a bit, then throw the bike over into the corner. It tracks cleanly round the bend and I carry on as usual, pedalling like fury to the next obstacle. Except this time it didn’t quite work like that.

This time I threw the bike into the corner and the front wheel decided it wasn’t going to grip. At all. BAM! My knee hits the floor followed by the rest of me. Traffic comes to a halt and a lady is asking me if I’m OK. I get up, smile at her, tell her I’m alright and the world carries on as normal again.

Perhaps turning in at ludicrous speed wasn’t a great idea in the wet – my tyres were never going to grip the white lines and knackered tarmac all that well were they? The best bit is that I’ve managed to bruise the knee and elbow that didn’t hit the ground. It seems that my bike is made of pretty solid stuff :-/

The best Blonde Joke ever. Fantastic.

For possibly the first time this year, we had a sky. By which I mean a blue sky with some semblance of sunshine. Up until now it’s been dull and grey – all the time.

See, good stuff has happened. I had a fantastic Christmas. I got a new bike, which rides rather well. I had my appraisal at work and came out the other end very well – and recent website launches and upgrades have recieved generally good feedback. I’ve seen great films, with great friends. Yet still I feel somewhat down at the moment.

I don’t really know why, so I’m going to blame the grey. Looking out of the office window and seeing sunshine made it all feel so much better. If only I could have escaped into the hills to enjoy it… ROLL ON THE WEEKEND!