Dear Apple…

Thank-you for your latest marketing e-mail. It does a very good job of making the new MacBook into a tempting proposition.

The thing is, I’ve already got one. You must be aware of this, because I had to register it with you when I first switched it on! It’s a lovely thing, but I have absolutely no need for another one. It sounds like you’re struggling keep up with demand anyway.

Instead, why not try a different approach: Try and sell me something I might actually buy. Seeing as my Sony Walkman is presently all but useless with a Mac, persuade me to try an iPod. Hey, if I’m into music, maybe a decent set of speakers is in order, or an external hard drive to hold it all? You never know, perhaps I’d be up for buying some software to use on this thing – are there any good driving games on this platform?

But please, stop trying to sell me what you’ve already sold me.

Kind regards,


8 Responses to “Dear Apple…”

1. Simon

You only have one… they want you to have more. So you can colour match with your other fashion accesories.

Wait for Creative and Apple to become friends and hopefully you could use Creatives better mp3 players with iTunes. Sony stuff seems to be setting alight at the moment.

2. Olly

Apple + Creative? Friends!? HAHAHAHAHAAA!

3. Weon

What makes you think that Apple can afford to spend money on targetted marketing like that?

Apart from the fact that they are loaded.

And want to rule to world.

Via the medium of iPod.

And MacBooks.

4. matt

I have no problem with emails trying to sell me things I already have… sorry.
Now… trying to sell me something I can’t //afford// that’s different.. keep ya mouth shut Apple ! ;)

(how’s the hand?)

5. SimonB

They never send me any mails thankfully. Probably get stopped by my spam filter :)

6. pauldwaite

> “persuade me to try an iPod”

If you’re not one of the 50 million who’ve already taken the plunge, how could they possibly tip you over the edge now? I mean, they already hired the Black Eyed Peas to market the puppies. WHAT MORE CAN THEY DO?!?

More targeted marketing would be kewl. And, one would think, not all that hard. Amazon do a pretty good job, and just consider how many millions of times smaller Apple’s product range is than Amazons.

7. pauldwaite

Oh, wait, I forgot. I have this theory that all marketing people are pretty stupid. Or at least, they’re not happy unless they’re unleashing more crap upon the world. Never less. Never “let’s keep quiet here, as it’ll have more impact.” Always more, more, more. Give us your e-mail address. Have this flyer. Read this e-mail. Look at this picture.

Sorry, I’m done.

8. grant

Amazon keep doing the same to me – recommending products to me, based on recent purchases, that I already bought from them. Fools.