I’ve got this mahoosive bag of Pick-and-mix sat in front of me.

I’m feeling ever so slightly ill.

But I can’t seem to stop eating them.

I R FAT BLOATER!

You may remember that a while back I was on about how it’d be a good idea to get myself some lights for my bike.

Well, I’ve started down that path, with a set of commuter lights, which should see me getting to and from work a little bit quicker (in as much as I’ll be able to use my bike again now). I’ve had one of those rear lights before — they’re very bright and offer a cool “Knight Rider” mode. The LED headlight seems to be very bright too, though obviously its not good enough for any serious off-roading. It ought to get me to and from work in relative safety though.

What price security? About £56.99

Whilst my bike’s there, it’ll be pretty securely locked to the railings, thanks to a slightly OTT Kryptonite New York Lock, along with the Kryptoflex that I’ve already got. It weighs a ton and seems to be one hell of a lot more secure than the cheap and nasty lock it replaces, though to be fair, that wouldnt take much. Its also one of the newer ones that can’t be broken into with an old Bic biro, which is nice. The key has a car-style light on it so that you can see the keyhole in the dark, which is a totally ace feature to have on a bike lock!

I am slightly worried that I’ll be laying down a challenge to potential thieves rather than deterring them though ;-)

Oh my word. I’m ten years old all over again. I’ve found Digger.

Of course our old Amstrad PC1512 didn’t have a colour monitor, so we didn’t get it in glorious technicolour, but it was still fiendishly addictive and ace fun. Me and my mum would spend hours trying to get past those evil nobbins and hobbins.

Its really bizarre but within a few minutes of starting it up, I’m remembering all of the old tactics I’d use to get through level one unscathed, whilst maximising the amount of gold I got and even killing enough baddies to earn a cherry. Its still frustatingly difficult to get away from the hobbins, even with years of experience playing much more grown up games.

within a few minutes I’m remembering all the old tactics

And the music! Popcorn, the William Tell Overture (I think) and all the others. Its so cool to be able to play it again.

The mad thing is that these days it requires a relatively decent PC to work properly, and even then the sound gets all messed up. Back then it ran on a humble 8mhz 8086 (thats about a squillion generations of processor ago).

There’s DOS, Windows, Unix/SDL and Java versions for you to play with over at Digger.org, so you’ve got almost no excuse for not being able to run it. Go have fun, NOW!

Its a long long time ago. So long that my old GT LTS was my regular bike. We’re talking more than seven years here.

I’ve gone over to my cousin Tom’s house, somewhere near Hindhead in Surrey, and we’ve gone out for a play on our bikes. We having an ace time, blatting down hills, darting up singletrack, generally having a good time. We’re buzzing!

We’re bombing along this bit of track, no wider than my handlebars. There’s trees along one side, and a small rancid ditch on the other, full of thick, dark, gloopy “water”. There’s roots growing straight across the track. You can see what’s coming can’t you?

All of a sudden my front wheel makes a sideways dash for the stream. There isn’t a single little thing I can do to stop it. Before I know it, I’m lying on my back in the steam, looking back at my bike, which is stood upright with the front wheel wedged into the ditch. I’ve somehow managed to complete a 180° somersault into the stream. Pure genius.

Just thought I’d share that with you.

Its acetastic. Go and see it. Now.

I’m fairly sure that B.A.T.G.R.A.T. stood for something once. I can’t remember now though. The important thing is that its a group of college friends getting together and having a laugh. You might even go so far as to call it a reunion. This year we did it in central London. Present were Claire Bear, TJ, Becky, Brettle, Christophe, Weon, Anne, and myself.

We arrived. We had the longest lunch of all time at The Rock Garden, Covent Garden. We visited the Tate Modern – where Bruce Nauman’s Raw Materials exhibit both impressed and freaked us. We wandered over the Millenium Bridge and watched the Ice Skating at Somerset House. We drank in Punch and Judy’s and a random Starbucks. We wandered some more. We went our separate ways.

I had an absolutely ace time. It was really good to see you all again guys.

There’s s few more pictures in The Gallery.

The National Rail website site is fantastic. You go to “Planning your journey”, type in your starting point and destination, the date and approximate time of travel, and press go.

It comes back with a selection of train times that will suit you. You can then choose a service, click a button, and it will send a text message with the train times to your mobile phone. Its an absolutely wonderful use of technology.

You can hear the “but” coming a mile away can’t you?

Its a wonderful use of technology, right up until you arrive at the station to find that THE TRAIN DOESN’T FLINKING EXIST!

OK, so maybe engineering works meant that the timtable go re-jigged or something? No, it wasn’t that – this train isn’t listed on any of the regular timetables up on boards all over the station. Perhaps its on the updated Winter Timetable then? The ones that don’t kick in until the 12th of December – about a fortnight from now. Pick up a leaflet, check it out, and… no, its not in there either.

I have no idea where National Rail got their information from. When I eventually got to the next station, I found that my connecting train (that I’d long since missed) never actually existed either.

All of which added up to make that brilliant use of technology completely and utterly bloody useless. Bah.